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How to prepare and enjoy SPAM™ Luncheon Meat

Why SPAM™ Luncheon Meat?

To answer briefly, why not? SPAM™ Luncheon Meat (henceforth referred to as "SPAM™" for purposes of brevity, though it should be noted that, according to the official SPAM™ website, SPAM™ is an adjective and not a noun) is more than a delicious combination of your favorite meats and by-products packaged in a tin guaranteed to last through the next Cold War in your underground bunker; SPAM™ consumption crosses all georacial, sociopolitical, and econimosexual boundaries to become an experience enjoyed by all! Remember: it's a tasty treat if you're into meat!

How can I prepare and enjoy SPAM™?

Step 1: Wake up

SPAM™ is very palatable early in the morning, but you shouldn't wake up too early, or your crankiness will disrupt your enjoyment of the meal.

Step 2: Put on a happy face

A Positive Mental Attitude™ is a very important part of your SPAM™ experience!

Step 3: Obtain SPAM™

Hopefully you have some SPAM™ in your garage or pantry. Otherwise, you better run to the store and get some!

Step 4: Open SPAM™

It's not gonna do you much good inside the tin, now is it?

Step 5: Smell SPAM™

Mmm, smells good!

Step 6: Put SPAM™ in heated pan

You might want to put some butter or oil in the pan as well.

Step 7: Cook SPAM™

But don't overcook it!

Step 8: Call your guests

If you're eating alone, that's okay too. But SPAM™ really is a group experience.

Step 9: Serve SPAM™

Sliced, diced, or mashed, SPAM™ tastes great!

Step 10: Enjoy

Wow, what a treat!

And the final step...

Step 11: Post-SPAM™ Super Happy Fun Time!!!